The truth is you don’t need to learn to say no.
You are the master of no. You say no countless times every day and don’t even realize it.
Don’t believe me?
Every time you say yes to something, you are simultaneously saying no to something else.
If you’ve said yes to working late, wishing you would have had the strength to say no, you did in fact say no. You may have said no to spending time with your family. Maybe you said no to getting the rest you so desperately need. Or maybe you said no to reading that book you’ve promised yourself you’d get to for the last month.
Whatever the yes, there is always the simultaneous no!
The next time someone asks of your time or you make a decision to do or not do something ask yourself this question:
If I say yes to _____________________ I’m saying no to _______________________.
It may look like this…
If I say yes to lunch with you today. I am saying no to finishing the book I’ve been writing.
-OR-
If I say yes to sleeping in. I’m saying no to having a productive day.
Whatever the yes is (and the simultaneous no). You’ll need to decide…
Is the YES worth the NO? It may be.
The key is to understand what you’re saying no to, not to learn to say it.
What do you say if someone asks you to do something that you just don’t want to do?
You ask yourself If I say yes to ___________. I’m saying no to _____________________.
Then share that with the person who’s asked for your time.
“Crystel, if I say yes to going to a movie on Wednesday afternoon. I would have to say no to helping my children with their homework. You can understand why I can’t say no to helping my children right?”
You didn’t even have to tell them “no”. You just had to let them see what you would have to say no to!
Understand what you’re saying no to:
- Spend more time doing what’s important to you
- Stop feeling guilty
- Be more intentional with your time